New Family Members

Grizabella just had two beautiful kittens today, around 4pm.

I first noticed she might be having them, when she followed me to my room, curled up next to me on my bed, and would not stop squirming, as well as the occasional grip she'd get on my hands with her teeth.

So i took her to the laundry and an hour or so after that she delivered a beautiful apricot/peach coloured kitten, and then about half an hour later a peach coloured one with black tips. They both fit in my hands beautifully.

Break This Heart

Laughter comes through heartache
Growing comes through pain
And Lord, I know You’re slowly
Teaching me
I have to lose to gain
I’ve been all too careful
Of vessels and of jars
So won’t you let your love
Break through the walls
Releasing what you are


Break this heart
Let it be open
I know it is no good
Till all the bitterness is gone
Make my life
A vessel that’s broken
So I can someday help
The one who falls

There’s nothing worse than nothing
To live yet not to feel
I’ve been numb to all the suffering
A heart as cold as steel
Make me strong and tender
Take away my fears
And won't You give me holy insight, Lord
And wash my eyes with tears

Break this heart
Let it be open
I know it is no good
Till all the bitterness is gone
Make my life
A vessel that’s broken
So I can someday help
The one who falls

So I came someday help
The one who falls

The number of times I have prayed this.......

God grant me the
Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
Courage
to change the things I can and
Wisdom
to know the difference.


This prayer is one that hung on the wall of the bedroom i always stayed in when i went to visit Grandma and Poppa, I learnt it there and have never forgotten it. It will be one memory of visiting them that i carry with me forever.

My Friend

What would I do without you?
You strengthen me when I need it, even when I don't.
You're always there for me, even when you're not.
You've seen me laugh, and you've seen me cry.
There is nothing I could say to make you leave me,
there is nothing I could do to make you love me more or less.
You're not afraid to tell me when I am doing the wrong thing, even when I'm not.
You listen to my words and treat them as if they were pure gold.
You remember things about me that even I have forgotten, even things I have never said or done.
You're someone I can count on when times get rough to stick with me till the end.
I know that whatever happens, as long as I have you my friend, we'll pull through.
You are there when things are going well, someone to share and make memories with.
You're my true friend, you understand my past, believe in my future and accept me today, the way I am.
Who could ask for a better friend?

Dreaming About the Past, and Hoping for the Future

My memories....

*Photo of my breakfast in the Solomon Islands


*one of the girls that showed us around with her father, she was adorable

The people there were amazing, everywhere we went, we were well looked after, there were always BIG smiles and open homes. We visited 3 schools, and at all of them the students sang to us, all of their voices in harmony. Hearing it almost brought me to tears, it was truly remarkable, i could have stayed there forever.

*The Front Gate

The Brothers were so good to us. They looked after us very well, and showed us their home, with their beautiful gardens. I believe they had rather large floods there during feb this year, while we had the fires, and i think they lost a lot of what was there when i visited. I remember them taking us down to the beach and climbing a very very very tall coconut tree, and getting us fresh fruit to eat. The brother that climbed it was up to the top in under 2mins, one of the guys with us tried to have a shot, but he only got up about a meter and a half if that, so we were all very excited and amazed at this skill the Solomon Islander had. The coconut was delicious.

*Everybody loves cool coconut milk on a hott 48' day in the shade

After spending time with the brothers, we had to wait 4 days for our boat to take us across to another school, so we went and visited the sisters. This was an especially exciting time for me, as they showed us around their property they pointed out that the generator had been given to the from a church in Australia, my very own church in fact, about 2 weeks before i was born. I wish i had taken a photo, however i had the video camera so could not. The sisters do a wonderful job with the women in the Islands, especially those that have nowhere else to go, and they work with them, teach them of God's love and build them up to be stronger women.

*Where we slept on the boat, as you can see there wasn't too much room, nor privacy

Our boat trip was almost 24hours, and i LOVED it! :D during the day it was hot, the sun was beating down on us, but the wind was flowing over the water and creating a cool breeze for us to relax in. We slept on deck, with the exhaust fumes being pumped out onto the places where everyone sat, which worked well for me, because i could not smell them, i was able to stand in front of the exhaust and get warm at night when it cooled down a lot without any thought to the smell. At night time it rained, and the waves reached well above the height of the boat, It was sooo exciting, I spent the time knowing that i was not going to die or drown and feeling completely safe in God's hands. I think God was working in my heart and talking to me the entire time i was watching the waves loom over me, i couldn't repeat what He said, for i don't remember the words, but the sense of peace, of faith in my heart was soo strong i will never forget it

I would soo much love to take the trip again, what i've written here is nothing compared to the actual being there and living it. Hopefully soon i can raise enough money to go back and visit the friends i made there. Going to the Solomon Islands showed me things about myself that i didn't know before, things that challenged me to step up to a higher level, and also humbled me in the way i saw the world. I will never forget the time i had, i hope to have it again and that i will be able to bring more people with me to experience and live this amazing life.

Your heart will always be my home

I get lost somewhere in here whenever i listen to this song, can't describe it, i just, soar... i am somewhere else. I wish i knew how to describe it, because it happens everytime, and i love it!

Your heart will always be my home,
No matter where I go,
No matter what may come.

You'll be my shelter in the storm,
a harbor safe and sound,
where only true forgiveness can be found.
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

And I can't live without your love.
Cause your eyes have seen beyond,
the things I'm guilty of.
I won't be afraid to turn back down the road.
Cause your heart will always be my home.

And when, I've cried a thousand tears,
you've always wiped them dry.
And watched me as I spread my wings and fly
to a place, where holiness begins,
and mercy never ends.
And I will find my freedom once again,
But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

Your hands are always open,
to catch me when I fall,
I feel a million miles away,
but that's no distance, at all...

But still, I wanna run away
And go it all alone.
Will I ever learn from my mistakes?

Cause your heart will always be my home.

When The Tears Fall

Listening to this song gives me the shivers, I absolutely love it. There is a sense of security and peace, knowing that no matter what's going on God will be there, even through our suffering, hopelessness, lonliness we can praise God because of His faithfulness. I've had this song in my head all week, and the Newsboys sing it so well, I just felt I had to share it. This is my prayer today.

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
but there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

when hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

in the lone hour of my sorrow
through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
my defender, forevermore

when hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

and I will praise You, I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You
and I will praise You, Jesus praise You
through the suffering still I will sing

when hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

oh yes, You are good to me
You've always been good to me
so trustworthy

when hope is lost, I'll call You saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

and I will praise You, and I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You [I will sing to You]
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
through the suffering still I will sing

How faithful and true
sustain me through and through -
You're my spring of living water
you're my spring of living water

in the lone hour of my sorrow
be faithful and true
like a spring it never fails
You're my spring that never fails

whose springs never fail

Like a well watered garden
whose springs never fail
You're faithful and true

Like a well watered garden
whose springs never fail

You're my spring that never fails

Amen.

Take the Wheel

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path"

A long long while ago, I started a diary type thing, and I wrote about when I was growing up on the farm. So I thought I'd share it on here, because I think it was pretty cute, i think i was in grade 6 or year 7 when I wrote it. I meant it to be a testimony type thing that I would probably never share, but I don't know what it is now, just a memory i guess.

I believe I was trying to find a way to describe how God is in control of our lives, yet still allows us to make our own choices and decisions. A way of describing this, which may not be totally accurate but was good enough for a 12-13yr old, was by looking at the relationship I have with my own father.

As a child dad would take me out on the farm and sometimes he would let me steer the tractor while he pulled the hay off and fed it to the cattle. It was a big John Deer Tractor, and when the huge round bale was out front blocking the view, it was very hard to see where I was going. It was times like these I had to rely on my dad's direction, so that I would avoid fences, and dams, and holes etc. Dad would be out the front where I could see him, and when he wanted me to turn, he would look at me and swing his arm in the direction he wanted to turn the wheel. At this point, it was up to me to either follow his direction letting him lead me where it was safe to go, or I could ignore him and do my own thing, probably ending up in a fence somewhere, a fence which, he would probably have to fix later on.
Sometimes I would panic, thinking that I couldn't turn the tractor to miss the fence in time, or something, or I'd get confused and turn the wheel the opposite direction, and not know how to fix it. It was during those times that dad would see my distress, come running around to take the wheel from my hands and set us on the safe paths again.

I guess that I had viewed God's control over my life in kinda the same way. Instead of having Himself sit in the drivers seat, He let's us take the wheel and directs us where to go, and gives us the choice to follow Him or not. In times of trouble, and fear, when we feel like we have lost control, we can cry out to Him to take the Wheel of our Lives, and put us back on the right track. I guess it's taking the step of faith and trusting that he knows what is best for us.

A Responsive Heart

"Josiah was 8 yrs old when he became King, and he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-one years. He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, and walked in the ways of his father David, not turning to the right or the left"

I don't know why I read this passage, but it hasn't left me alone since I read it. I was house sitting, Aimee was away for the day, and I had the house to myself. I came across Josiah's name when I did a search of Jesus' family tree and felt compelled to read about him. What I found was a man that God loved, a man who loved God. I read about his achievements and could find nothing wrong with him. He seemed to be perfect, and I could not understand why I had never heard of him before.

One of the things about Josiah, that continually tugs at my heart, is that when he heard that God was going to bring judgment and disaster on the people because they had broken their promise, he responded not by being angry with God, not with hateful words or excuses, but he responded by humbling himself and turning to God.

"This is what the Lord says: Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before God ... I have heard you...Your eyes will not see all the disaster i am going to bring"

Even after all this he did so many more amazing things, and "as long as he lived, they did fail to follow the Lord". He must have been an amazing man, to have that much influence over the people. His devotion to God, his humility, the responsiveness of his heart, are the things he was remembered for, they are things I desire to have in my heart,. He loved God, and he loved his people, and they must have loved him, because they remained so faithful while he ruled them.

Today at church, Judy spoke of when Nathan rebuked David for what he had done to Bathsheba and what he had done against God. She focused on David's response, when he realised what he had done, he didn't try to hide, he didn't try to blame anyone else, he knew what he had done, and he responded by humbling himself before God and repenting. I couldn't help but draw parallels between the stories, and admiring both men, for their responsiveness, and knowing that when we humble ourselves and respond to God in our hearts, He listens to us, shows us His undying love, mercy and grace by taking away our sin and lets us start again.

Judy finished her talk by saying that "it's not your record with God that counts, but your relationship with Him" and I couldn't agree more. My relationship with Him is not perfect, it never could be, but I know that when I mess up, if I respond in my heart, humbling myself before God, He will never give up on me, His love will cover all wrongs, and my relationship with Him will be renewed, over and over and over again.

This has been on my heart for a while, and I'm still not sure if what I wrote has captured it in it's fullness, but I hope and pray that it may encourage those that read it in some way, no matter how small.

A New Beginning

This picture -taken by Wes Chia- reminds me of a time a few years ago, in 2007, when i went to Wilson's Prom with Aimee and her friends for schoolies. Aimee and I sat on the cliffs, and watched the ocean. She kept talking about the colours of the sky, the beach, the cliffs and the water, commenting that she could stay there forever. I was cold, and uncomfortable, and didn't see what she was seeing because I was distracted. When I look at this photo, I remember how beautiful it was, and how lucky I am to have such an amazing friend, who can see so much around her, things that I would miss if she wasn't with me. She fills my life with so many small, and big blessings.

This picture fills me with peace, love and joy. I love the colours in the water, and can remember the warmth of the sun on my face.